When I look back at my childhood I see how much I was a dreamer. I believed I could be or do anything if I really wanted. If I had ever stopped working hard for something then it wouldn’t have made me who I am. My capstone was more of a goal. It was a goal to leave an impact that showed people the importance of receiving an education and leave them with a sense of gratitude. Not only do I feel that I accomplished this goal, but I gained more understanding. At the beginning of the year I ran through a million topics. I was invested in doing something for myself, my culture, and my history. I realized that was, in a way, selfish of me. I was doing it to prove a point to myself. I wanted to show I can protect Bosnian culture. Yet, how was I going to protect it when I couldn’t think of an idea. That was the most inconsiderate I have ever been.

          It wasn’t supposed to be about me. Capstone taught me that you can’t accomplish anything you don’t truly want to do.It took me time, like a long time, before coming to the idea I have now. You see, my parents were immigrants. They struggled so much that it would be degrading to even try to put it in simple terms. They came to the United States with the same thing I came into senior year with, one goal.  They wanted a better life for my sister and I. This could only be accomplished by putting us into school and showing us how to work our butts off. They’re what gave me my drive to work hard and my new idea. It was their belief that hard work and education gets you far in life. Rather than me doing a project solely for myself, I wanted to do one that impacted everyone. The United Nation International Children’s Emergency Fund (UNICEF) does just that. That aid in over 90 countries to help children learn, develop, and survive. I wanted to show their organization to my fellow students because what they’re doing is for everyone.

          I felt an overwhelming amount of emotions every second during my capstone. I was excited to present and get my message across, yet I was afraid of the reactions. Believe it or not, highschool students are terrifying. Every time I stepped up in front of a smartboard, my confidence dropped. Eyes staring down to my core. It was up to me to give them a message, but it was all up to them to understand it. When I saw my first eye roll and head down, it hurt. I didn’t expect to be so hurt by these minor things. What’s worse is I got angry. Around my 4th presentation, I left the classroom in complete shock and agitation. This was a class of seniors who were acting like second graders. This moment made me angry not just because they were being children, but because they were doing the very opposite of what I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to make them feel gratitude and they made me feel annoyed. I had a talk with a teacher that same day. As I angrily walked back to class I was stopped by a certain teacher. He told me that I can’t let them get under my skin because then teachers would be unemployed. It took me a second to understand him. Teachers go through this every day and they’re doing the same thing I am. They not only want these kids to feel grateful, but to ensure they go far in the future. 

I asked four students from each grade that I presented to to write a few words of what they thought of my presentation and what they gained. 

          I was ready to make my capstone the most memorable thing. That was until Covid-19 hit. I felt that same anxiousness from the beginning of the year. Only this time that feeling lasted 15 seconds. Mid-way through my journal an idea hit and I made that idea a reality. The “I Promise…” video ensured my feeling of accomplishment. I had people relieving stress during this difficult time, as well as people making realizations. The I promise video was made to show people that you can’t just think you’re going to do something, you need to commit to it. Over the last two months I know my fellow classmates and students all over the U.S. have struggled with online classes and adjusting to this new way of living. I also know that they’re doing their best to continue learning all the way up until this crisis ends. That’s all I could ask for. I’m not sure who will see the video or if anyone will learn anything from it. All I am sure of is that once they see it, they won’t be able to forget it. 

          I gained an extraordinary amount of knowledge from my capstone. I realized that in order to motivate others I had to learn to motivate myself. I couldn’t promote the importance of education and take my education for granted. I had to work myself to the core during senior year and didn’t allow hardships to take over. I knew that the education I had was something different. During my capstone I saw the conditions it took for children all over the world just to learn to read or write. It was unfair to me that no matter how much they wanted to learn, their environments prevented them from doing so. Children in Niger cannot afford the cost of going to school. Young girls in Afghanistan are restricted from going to learn the basics simply because they are female. My capstone gave me more knowledge about the world. It allowed me to not be narrow minded and help others open their eyes that there are children all over the world struggling. Not only this, but I learned the hardships teachers face daily. I found a new gratitude to them. They care that we move forward and prosper. Not just in my own school, but in those same countries there are educators who work with little to nothing and receive almost no pay just to help children. What UNICEF does showed me that you can accomplish so much with some hope and will power.

          Senior year was difficult. Mentally draining as well as physically. Capstone, in a way, made it better. I was so happy seeing the faces of children so invested in my presentations and the overwhelming positivity from viewers of my video. I thought I was teaching people, but they taught me so much more. During this experience people showed their good sides and bad sides. I saw people frown at facts about struggling children in Syria, but I also saw people sleep through the explanation of why math class is so important. I learned that people will take everything for granted until they don’t have anything left. I learned that the world is an unfair place, even for the most innocent of people. I learned that even during killer wasps, fear, and global pandemic people are strong enough to stick together and get through it. Whether they’re fighting on the front lines in hospitals or simply doing a Google Meeting with their capstone teacher, they’re doing their part for a better tomorrow. 

          Some took time to find themselves, draw a painting, write a quote, and even make a promise. The promise they made wasn’t just to their education, but a promise to not give up even during the worst periods of their lives. It’s my senior year. I didn’t get a prom, the final 4 months of senior year, the ability to say goodbye to old friends and teachers, or the proper send off into the real world. But that’s the real world. It’s not a fair place. My capstone taught me not everyone gets a completely attentive class, a fair send off, and especially not a fair education. Not only did it teach me this, but it taught me that the only way to change the unfair is by acknowledging it and learning from it. I am glad to have given my friends, family, and community an eye opening message. I can now hope that they take my goal and use it to help others understand the importance of what education, gratitude, and real world situations mean.